Love Mixed With Pain
by elle-kiliana
Summary: Draco goes through life with having to deal with not being able to love his children openly.
1. Prologue

Author's Notes: Draco and Ginny's relationship is already established here but none of the others, except for Dumbledore and Snape knows about it. The story is set around 2 years after Ginny's graduation from Hogwarts. That means Draco, Harry, Ron and Hermione are 20 and Ginny, 19. (I know, I know, kinda easy to figure that one out, but there are some, no offense, who still ask me the how old are they exactly question.)  
  
Love Mixed with Pain  
  
Prologue:  
  
"Father," Draco said. Knowing fully well that the man hiding among the shadows was Lucius Malfoy.  
  
"Why have you come my son?" He asked sarcastically.  
  
"Hard to believe, even by myself, but I'm here to take you back and ask you to surrender."  
  
Lucius snorted, "Have you gone insane?"  
  
"No father, I just thought that since you never told Voldemort that I was betraying him that you were actually moral."  
  
"I ask you again, have you gone insane?" He chuckled. "I only did that because that b**** you call your mother threatened to kill the babe that she is carrying." Stepping out of the shadows he continued, " Your sister would have been the Dark Lord's bride and I would have been given powers that rivaled the Lord himself. I would have been killed if she were not kept safe. I had plans my boy, big ones."  
  
"Sister? You bloody, selfish prat. How dare you --- "  
  
"You have boldness coming after me. You dared to defy me and now you shall pay. You shall always remember this my dear boy. Because of your traitorous act you shall regret having gone against the Dark Lord's wishes. Never again shall you experience true happiness. I curse everything you cherish and hold most dear to your heart. Your love shall always bring about pain."  
  
And with those parting words, Lucius Malfoy disappeared into the darkness.  
  
"What the hell did he mean by that?" Draco stared at the spot where his father last stood. "Lucius, you coward!"  
  
---  
  
The sky was clearer than any other night was. Stars were sparkling majestically against the velvety midnight black sky. Ginny sat beside Hermione and were both staring upwards. They were pointing out star patterns and planets that they recognized. They acted as if they were having an Astronomy lesson and had a star chart fill out.  
  
"I'm so glad all of this finally over." Hermione said, tilting her head towards the redhead beside her. "It's like a great weight has been lifted off of my shoulders and off the world."  
  
Ginny let out a sigh of relief and nodded her head. Draco still hasn't come back from his search of his father and she was beginning to worry. I hope he comes back soon. I want to hold him in my arms and relish every moment with him.  
  
She stood up and turned to Hermione, "I'm going to see if someone needs something. I just can't sit here and do nothing while I wait." Her friend in turn just smiled and continued to stare at the stars that seemed to rejoice their deserved victory.  
  
As she was walking towards Harry and Ron to ask if she could be of some assistance to anything, a sharp pain shot through her belly. The pain was so bad that she lost her balance and fell to the ground. The world around her started to spin, and she could barely keep her eyes open with all the pain and dizziness that whatever was happening to her was causing.  
  
"Dear, what was that?" Hermione started ask Ginny but the sight that she saw cut her off. The latter was sprawled on the floor, an arm draped over her abdomen, her face strewn in pain, and seemingly she was slowly going into unconsciousness. The young witch hurried to her side and prayed that she would be all right, both Harry and Ron following suit.  
  
~~elle-kiliana~~  
  
Author's Note (part 2): I can't say that I haven't had my share of using curse words but at the moment of writing this fic my head blanked out and just managed to call Lucius a prat. *gags* Recommendations are welcomed. 


	2. Chapter 1

Love Mixed With Pain 

Chapter 1: 

_Three months, three long and dragging months. The git is definitely going to get it once I get my hands on him. I don't even care if he's the father of my children. I am so damn tired of waiting. _

Virginia Weasley was again sitting on her favorite chair, waiting for bloody sodding Malfoy to come home to her. She had come back to her childhood home after finding out that she was with child. Actually with children was more appropriate since she was expecting twins. 

"Can I please have a sandwich?" She shouted to no one in particular. And soon enough an annoyed Harry Potter walked to her side and presented her with a tuna sandwich, followed by a very amused Hermione Granger. 

"I didn't know it was that easy to get the Boy Who Lived at your beck and call." 

"Hermione! When did you arrive?" Ginny said as she started to stand up from her position, forgetting the sandwich she demandingly asked for. 

"Oh, just a few minutes ago."

Harry stalked out of the room muttering something under his breath that suspiciously sounded like `women'. Harry did not really have a reason as to why he was there at the Burrow since he had already taken up residence at his real home, Godrick's Hollow. This was just one of those days that he had nothing in to do. But as soon as he arrived, Ron welcomed him immediately and ran past him, smiled, and told him to take care of his sister while he was away. Somehow, a nice quiet afternoon, doing nothing, suddenly felt more intriguing than having to spend it with a very pregnant, very emotional and very demanding Ginny Weasley, which explains why he was now inside the kitchen, reading old issues of the Daily Prophet. 

"Well, come on now, sit with me, and tell me everything that's been happening." Ginny who was now on the family couch said. A soft grumbling hum sounded as Hermione walked towards her. "Here you can have my sandwich, just don't tell Harry I gave it to you. He'll just get more annoyed." Hermione accepted and joined her in sitting thankfully noting the fact that Ginny noticed her hunger. 

"Hmm, I don't know where to start. Let's see." Hermione knitted her brows and evidently was thinking where to begin. She laid out her plans for finishing her book, which was entitled Back From The War, and continued on how she put into act, her promise of not mentioning Draco's real involvement in the demise of Lord Voldemort. She also chatted on about her ongoing research as to what really happened to Ginny when she had the accident, the accident that she miraculously recovered from right after Draco's disappearance. At this point of Hermione's relaying of events, Ginny couldn't look at the young lady beside her anymore. Her eyes started to brim with tears and then she softly began to cry. 

--- 

Lucius Malfoy's words clouded Draco's thoughts. If you were to look upon him, you would see a dazed young man, struggling with emotion. He felt a pain jab through his heart as realization dawned upon him. He could never ever see Virginia Weasley again. Never again shall he be able to touch her milky skin and breath her heavenly scent or hear her melodious laughter and her mellow voice or ever truly say how much he deeply loved her. His future children shall never know how much they meant to him. He shall never hear them utter their first words or see them walk their first steps. He would never see them accidentally hex their uncles and trigger motherly anger from Virginia. He would so very much want to just hold them and drift of sleep but it could never happen. And the most painful of all, he cannot let his children know that he loved them. That he loved Virginia and his children very dearly. 

Author's Note:

I am so sorry for the delay. School's been real hectic since the time I posted this so-called teaser. I'm really sorry guys. *crouches in a corner and hope she's forgiven* Anyway, back to business. I decided to make this a real chapter instead of a teaser. Here's the reason why, sometime during my absence, a virus got into my computer system and started deleting files without my knowing. Kinda stupid I know, not taking precautions and stuff. Which leads me to the next part of my story. No files equals no chappie. Now what I'm doing now is trying to recreate, so to speak, the old chapter I came up with before the whole deletion thing happened. But it might take a while, since finals are coming up. Real sorry, again, for the nth time. 

~elle-kiliana~

ps. I'm thinking of getting a beta, anyone interested? Email me at nikko@protocolcentury.com. Ciao 

pps. To chrysanthe and gardenia, are you guys related or something? Both of you are quite "flowery". 

ppps. Yes, I know that it's short!


	3. Chapter 2 A

Love Mixed With Pain 

Chapter 2: Part 1

Walking through these dark alleyways is how I take in the fact that I am still alive. Thinking that somewhere in this world, three people most important to me would be kept safe if I stayed away and kept walking these dark passages. Having to be away from them was one thing, not loving them was another, and I fear that if I keep this up, I will lose my sanity.

Good. Harry's here already.

"Hey," he said casually leaning against the wall, trying not to attract attention from any of the passersby. I stood in the shadows, keeping myself hidden from the view.

"Hey, yourself," I said. "Why don't we go somewhere where we can talk properly. I'll see you at the Shrieking Shack." And in an instant, I was gone.

I haven't been around Hogsmeade in a long time. Wonder how everything is, up there at Hogawarts. I shrugged my shoulders and waited for Harry to appear. He's taking long enough. Can't he apparate? 

"Sorry I'm late, I had a run in with someone, what did you want?" Harry said as he removed his traveling robes. "If you're here about who I think you're here for, she's perfectly fine, and so are Diane Veronica and Vince Daniel."

"Thanks. There's another thing though. I know you're mad at me for making you my secret keeper and all, but I wanted to tell you the reason why I can't come back." I lit a flame in the fireplace and through a memoria majorem into it. 'This is what happened. What really happened"

---

"Father," Draco said. Knowing fully well that the man hiding among the shadows was Lucius Malfoy. 

"Why have you come my son?" He asked sarcastically. 

"Hard to believe, even by myself, but I'm here to take you back and ask you to surrender." 

Lucius snorted, "Have you gone insane?" 

"No father, I just thought that since you never told Voldemort that I was betraying him that you were actually moral." 

"I ask you again, have you gone insane?" He chuckled. "I only did that because that b**** you call your mother threatened to kill the babe that she is carrying." Stepping out of the shadows he continued, " Your sister would have been the Dark Lord's bride and I would have been given powers that rivaled the Lord himself. I would have been killed if she were not kept safe. I had plans my boy, big ones." 

"Sister? You bloody, selfish prat. How dare you --- " 

"You have boldness coming after me. You dared to defy me and now you shall pay. You shall always remember this my dear boy. Because of your traitorous act you shall regret having gone against the Dark Lord's wishes. Never again shall you experience true happiness. I curse everything you cherish and hold most dear to your heart. Your love shall always bring about pain." 

And with those parting words, Lucius Malfoy disappeared into the darkness. 

"What the hell did he mean by that?" Draco stared at the spot where his father last stood. "Lucius, you coward!" 

---

"You already know that part, here's more. It'll help the situation become clearer." I threw another memoria majorem into the fire.

--- 

"Virginia! I'm so sorry I came so late. Father, he escaped and I went after him." Draco looked at his wife of two months, and noticed that she was unconscious and at the same time, in a great deal of pain.

"Virginia!" he cried out as he tried to cradle her to him. Her eyes flew open and she flung her arms around his neck, not wanting to let go, but the pain she was feeling was too much.

"Draco, a hand rested on his shoulder, "Please let Madame Pomfrey do her job." Dumbledore urged. "I believe that it is better if you were not to see this, it will make Ginny worry more that you are worried about her. Come boy, let us go."

"But, professor---" Draco insisted, lloing at Ginny's frail form.

"Draco, let us go." And with that he surrendered and followed the headmaster out into the clearing.

Once calmed down, the headmaster conjured up two steaming mugs of hot chocolate, two chairs and a small table. The two sat in comfortable silence.

"Professor," Ron shouted from afar, "Ginny's subsided now, Madame Pomfrey wants to see you and Malfoy.

Draco stood up almost immediately but Dumbledore placed his hand over the young man's shoulder again, and whispered, "Calm down boy, she won't be going anywhere."

To be continued...

~elle-kiliana~

Author's Note:

I wanted to post something up, even though it's confusing. I'm still looking for a beta. Oh thanks for the emails. To those who don't want to share their comments (flames and so on) on the review board, please don't hesitate to email me at nikko.protocolcentury.com, suggestions are welcome as well.

Ps. Hope you guys don't mind about the way I wrote this chappie. ciao


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